In light of the tragic passing of the Obama family’s former ‘First Dog,’ Bo, this past Saturday, recent Twitter activity suggests that we as a Nation can finally all agree on one thing: Heaven is real.
Former atheist Sam Harris, author of Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion and The End of Faith, sent out a humble tweet shortly after the canine’s fateful passing. “Well, I’ll be damned,face-palm emoji” he tweeted. He later followed up this statement by laying out a complex rational argument, one part philosophical logic-equation and one part mathematical proof, that required several rounds of analysis by a multi-faceted team of logicians and religious leaders to confirm its reasoning. The argument was: “Bo was a dog,” Harris tweeted, “And all dogs go to Heaven. Therefore, Bo went to Heaven… Oh, and somewhere in there, that also means Heaven is real.”
“I guess I never really met him,” Harris continues, “but Bo was a dog. And all dogs are good boys. Thus, Bo—” Quirky Quark reporter Morven Braedus had to politely wrap up the conversation at this point, explaining that that sort of complex reasoning just went right over his head. Harris stated the timing was fine by him, remarking “I’ve gotten pretty behind on my Hail Mary’s, anyway.”
Nerdy Nugget: Bo was born October 9, 2008 and died May 8, 2021 at 12 years old. Bo was a Portuguese water dog, a breed known for its ability to herd fish into fishermen’s nets, retrieve lost tackle, and act as couriers from ship to ship or ship to shore. In other words, he was an extremely good boy.
If you want more of The Quirky Quark (and perhaps a little more of First Dog, the best boy), the Nerdiest satire in The Galaxy, click HERE.
